Nov. 14, 2012

By Chris LaRose
Missinoary of the Gospel of Life
Parishioner, St. Mary’s, Potsdam

I was born in 1950 and attended the Congregational Church in Massena with my mom; dad was a non-practicing Catholic. After many restless years, I ended up in Connecticut where I married in 1983. Our first daughter was born in 1984 in New Hampshire. God was not on my mind, yet I was still restless.

As my dad was dying from cancer in 1987, we moved back to my hometown. With my dad’s death, I spiraled into depression; I cried out to God for help.

Unbeknownst to us, God was already working as He guided us to enroll our daughter in a summer Vacation Bible School at a small Methodist church nearby. The pastor began visiting us, praying for us and we soon attended his small church. In 1990, I attended a Methodist Cursillo; like St. Paul I fell in love with Jesus!

I quit smoking and drinking, began praying and devoured Holy Scripture and spiritual classics.

With the local Catholic parish, we brought Father Swizdor, a Franciscan priest with a healing ministry to our towns. Afterwards, my wife and I traveled to Pittsburgh to a Catholic Conference in 1992. Here we met some Catholics from up by us who were in a “community”, the Brothers and Sisters of Charity.

I became a Stephen Ministries leader, prepared for ordination and became a local Methodist pastor.

One day watching TV I discovered Mother Angelica and EWTN! We began praying the Rosary and Divine Mercy chaplet as Protestants! I still couldn’t understand the whole “Mary thing;” a Methodist gave me a book,  Medjugorje the Message  about miracles in Croatia where Mary had been appearing since June 24, 1981.

At a John Michael Talbot concert at the Cathedral in Syracuse, I prayed before a statue of Mary asking Mary, “I don’t understand, what is your role?”  She replied interiorly, “Chris, I am your mother.”  (John 19:27) Tears of joy flowed spontaneously, I now understood!

We visited the “home” of the Missionary Image of Our Lady of Guadalupe in St. Albans, VT –  praying before the image, I touched “pregnant” Mary’s belly and actually felt “the baby kick”!

In 1998 we were on pilgrimage to the Our Lady of Marmora Shrine  in Ontario.  At the 10th Station, visionary Dory Tan appeared to be communicating with the Virgin. Everywhere were manifestations of the Holy Spirit: I looked directly at the sun which was changing colors and dancing!

People were shrieking in joy not fear. My breath was taken away, I was dizzy, confused, yet on fire for God!
Unlike Mary’s faithful fiat to the Father (Luke 1:38), our yes to become Catholic took awhile. Finally we stepped out in faith and became Catholic at a Mass concelebrated by Msgr. Peter Riani and Father Thomas Moody at the Hope House of Prayer in Peru on August 2, 1993.

Being a true follower of Christ is not easy. “And he said to all, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.’”  (Luke 9:23)

Receiving Him in my heart is an indescribable joy and completely turned my life around.

My darkest hour was when Janine left us in 2006. Back into depression I went. For the first time as a Catholic, I stopped going to Mass. How could this happen, I had Jesus with me?!

“The virgin will conceive and give birth to a Son and they will call Him Immanuel, which means ‘God with us.’”  (Is. 7:14; Matt. 1:23)    “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, full of grace and truth; we have beheld His glory. . . “ (John 1:14) God actually has a glorified body and gives it to us at each Eucharistic feast of the Mass. “We abide in Him and He in us.” (John 15:4)

Even though I thought I was dead, my faith was alive and saved me. In 2011, I was diagnosed with Idiopathic Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension , which is fatal, has no cure and features severe shortness of breath with constant fatigue. “Ten thousand difficulties do not make one doubt.” (CCC 157)

Christ proclaims, “Be not afraid . . . and behold, I am with you always, to the close of the age.” (Matt. 28:20)
The message of St. Faustina buoys my soul, “Jesus, I trust in you.”  Trust means that I agree to let God be God, instead of trying to be Him myself. In moments of agony, I echo the cry of Jesus, “Not my will, but Yours be done.” 

My life is in your hands, I surrender all to you; my worldly life is over, it is You who now lives in me. Victory has been won; (1 Cor. 15:54-58) You have overcome the world on the Cross. (1 John 5:4)

Help me to bear my cross Lord, to do the Father’s will, whatever it may be. Help me to go forth loving You all the more, reaching out in humility to love all people with Your divine love every day. Amen.