By Sazanne Pietropaoli
Staff writer

Grace, the Catechism of the Catholic Church (#1997) reminds us, is a participation in the life of God.  It was grace that drew 106 women, from all parts of the diocese and beyond, to the Women of Grace retreat at Wadhams Hall April 20-22. There, in word and sacrament, grace reached deeply into the hearts of those gathered for this unique encounter with the truth of what it means to be a daughter of God.

Led by Johnnette Benkovic, Women of Grace founder, author, and host of EWTN’s “Abundant Life” program, the retreat was structured around daily Mass, Morning Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours, Eucharistic Adoration and Benediction, the Rosary, and  opportunities for Confession. 

Complementing these were Mrs. Benkovic’s presentations, which were largely framed by Ephesians 1,3-4:  “Praised be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has bestowed on us every spiritual blessing in the heavens.  God chose us in him before the world began, to be holy and blameless in his sight, to be full of love.”
These verses, she proposed, reveal to us our identity in Christ - as well as our destiny. 

No human is an accident
“No human being is an accident,” Mrs. Benkovic said. “Rather each has been chosen by God ‘before the world began,’ called into existence by his will, and endowed with every blessing in the heavens.” “That fact leads us to know, too, the purpose for which we have been created: ‘to be holy and blameless in his sight, to be full of love. ‘“ 

This fundamental truth of our existence can be compromised by sin and obscured by false ideologies, Mrs. Benkovic pointed out, with women being particularly vulnerable to the lie that they ought to be just like men.
”Every woman, by virtue of her femininity is called to be mother, to be one who bears physical and spiritual life in the world - and Satan hates her for it,” she explained. “The physiology of woman is itself a sign of the sacred: in her womb - deep, hidden, interior - is that place where God puts an immortal soul, a new person who will live for all eternity,” she said. “It is holy because it belongs to God.” 

The power of women
“Her interiority and sacredness give woman power over man, because he longs for her and is lost without her.” Mrs. Benkovic said.”Men take their cues from us. “Archbishop Sheen said that ‘A civilization rises to the stature of the woman’ because she signifies the sacred.  When woman lives with her sign, she rises and the men follow,” she said. “The devil, though, wants to dis-integrate woman, separating her from her own interiority, Mrs. Benkovic said.  ‘It’s all up to you, the devil whispers. Sleep with whomever you want, do whatever you want.  If you get pregnant, get an abortion. “But,”  Mrs. Benkovic explained, “a woman can’t do this and be well on any level.  Acting against the feminine nature contributes to depression, alcoholism, serial marriages. 

On the other hand, when we live as a sign of the sacred, we begin to re-integrate and to have happiness, fulfillment, and joy—like our Blessed Mother Mary, she said. “God wants you to know exactly who you are: his daughter, the image of the woman of grace foretold in Genesis 3, 15.  You are to be mini-Mary’s.”

God wants to heal us
Acknowledging the brokenness that haunts us all, Mrs. Benkovic   assured  retreatants that “Nothing you have done is greater than his love for you.  There is nothing greater than God’s mercy. “Know who you are!  God wants to heal you, vivify you, integrate you,” she said. “He wants you to help him bring salvation to the world.
“There is no turmoil greater than the love of God,” she said. “He is present; walk with him! No matter what God entrusts to us, we need faith, not fear.” (See below)

Mrs. Benkovic noted that God heals in many ways, even by the passive purification that comes through suffering. Christians are not immune to suffering, she explained, because we are baptized into the Paschal mystery—the passion, death, and resurrection of Christ.  “We also live in a broken and fallen world,” she said. “Yet in the plan of God, even suffering can bring grace.

Burying a son
Relating the 2004 loss of her only son in a vehicular accident, Mrs. Benkovic moved her listeners to tears as she described the horror she experienced when she learned of Simon’s death:

“I threw myself on the floor and wailed, like a dying animal.  In my mind’s eye I could see those scenes from “The Passion of the Christ,” I could see our Blessed Lady. She had lost her own perfect Son, and I knew she was with me. In utter agony, I cried out for “every spiritual blessing in the heavens.”  I told God that I wanted the grace that held Our Lady under that cross for three hours as she watched her Son die.  I felt no consolation; no angels came.  I knew that faith is a theological virtue we receive at Baptism, but it is also an   intellectual virtue  when we assent to something and agree that God can do all things.  We experience faith through an act of the will; our feelings do not dictate reality to us.  “Through faith I was able to get up off that floor; through faith, Anthony and I went about the business of burying our son.” 

The loss of her son and husband within three short years left a great wound, Mrs. Benkovic admitted. “But when we embrace the cross in and through Christ, we eventually experience healing, liberation, and new hope.”

Message from Vatican 11
Drawing on the powerful words addressed  “To Women” in the closing messages of the Second Vatican Council, Mrs. Benkovic noted that “this is the age of the woman, who is called to reconcile men to life, to aid mankind in not falling.”  The speaker contrasted woman’s high calling in the plan of God with “Satan’s counterfeit - the female rebellion of the 1960’s onward, in which women masculinized themselves with the birth control pill, sterilization, and abortion, and threw away their sacredness. The world hungers and longs for the truth, but is so bewitched by lies it does not know it is hungry for truth, she said.

“In 1976, then-Cardinal Woltyja visited the U.S. and told the American bishops, ‘We are now standing in the greatest historical confrontation that humanity has yet gone through,’” Mrs. Benkovic said. “The battle is being waged for souls, for the human race, between the Church and the anti-Church of secularism, relativism, hedonism, narcissism, and paganism.

“This struggle lies within the plans of Divine Providence, and the victory has been won by Christ on Calvary.” she said. “Still, as we watch religious liberty being usurped, we must engage in battle. “Women have a special role to play, Mrs. Benkovic pointed out, in leading all to God.

“If the hearts and minds of women are saved, then men will follow and children will be formed according to the Word of God,” she said. “Like the Blessed Virgin Mary, and through her merits, we too must become Christ-bearers, shaped and formed by her beautiful example and by the grace of God.” 

Mrs. Benkovic recommended that all women could profit from reading and heeding St. Louis de Montfort’s classic True Devotion to Mary, which culminates in an act of consecration to the Mother of God. 

Concluding her final talk, Mrs. Benkovic encouraged participants to “Remember that you are a daughter of God, rich in his grace.  You did not come to this retreat just to get away, but because God wants you to know the power you have to help move the world towards him.”

Bishop Terry LaValley celebrated the opening Mass for the Women of Grace retreat, assisted by Father Mark Reilly and Deacon Gary Frank.  Bishop LaValley welcomed retreatants and expressed his gratitude to retreat organizers, especially Mary Dillenback, and to Johnette Benkovic for journeying to the Diocese of Ogdensburg.
Father Mark Reilly, pastor of St. Bernard’s in Saranac Lake and retreat chaplain, offered Mass each day and presided at the other liturgical prayers.

The retreat was further blessed by the musical talents of cantor Kristina Dean from St. Mary’s in Evans Mills and organist Michele Tucker of St. Bernard’s in Saranac Lake.

Living with faith, not fear
Johnnette Benkovic reinforced the idea that women need “faith not fear”  by sharing the four-fold advice developed by her late husband, Anthony, who died of brain cancer in 2007.
• Number one: keep your eyes on Jesus; remember what happened to Peter when he looked away. 

• Second, stay the course: the sea will get rocky in life and ministry, in marriage and parenting.  It’s just part of our brokenness. 

• Third, secure the perimeter: protect God’s life within us.  Avoid the occasion of sin. Make use of the sacraments, especially Eucharist and Reconciliation.  Use sacramentals—holy water, blessed oil, the scapular.

• And fourth, finish strong. Make the decision to do whatever Jesus tells you to do.  Practice the beatitudes.  The Ten Commandments must be obeyed.  Obey the teachings of Holy Mother Church.  Even though revolution is in the American soil, obey God.  He is not asking you what you think, or asking you to agree, but he is asking you to obey. “

Though obedience is difficult, it is essential: Jesus obeyed the Father and so must we. Further, “When we begin to obey,” said Mrs. Benkovic, “something spiritual happens inside us.  Rebellion begins to dissipate and gives way to joy.  Then we begin to see the wisdom in the commandments and the teachings of the Church. This is how God works in us. Following God’s law is the way we experience absolute freedom.  Working against God puts us in bondage.  

“Sin makes us blind to the things of God: we lose peace, happiness, joy, ourselves—and our way,” Mrs. Benkovic said. “The wages of sin is death.  Even though we go through the motions of our days, we can be spiritually dead.  God wants to restore us to life in him, to bring us healing and set us free to radiate his presence and love in the world.”

photos by colleen miner
Johnnette Benkovic, left, Women of Grace founder, author, and host of EWTN’s “Abundant Life” program, is shown  with Mary Dillenback of  Fishers Landing, regional coordinator of Women of Grace and organizer of the local retreat.

Left, Bishop LaValley welcomes the participants of the Woman of Grace retreat during the opening Mass April 21. Right, Christina Carlson of Lake Placid holds her baby Elijah, the youngest retreatant; below, the view from the balcony in the chapel.