January 30, 2013

By Amanda Conklin
Campus minister, St. Mary’s, Canton

One of my favorite songs is “Like a Child” by Jars of Clay. Many underestimate how powerful the faith of a child is. The ability to accept on faith because we trust and believe, is one that Christ Himself recognized when He told the apostles to let the children come to Him. One of my earliest memories of deep faith in God took place while attending daily Mass with my mother. I was probably around nine or ten years old. I can clearly remember being extremely moved during the consecration at Mass. I had been trying extra hard to focus on the crucifix during Consecration and really trying to reflect on what I had been learning in school at St. Bernard’s about Christ dying for us, so that we could be forgiven. When it was time to leave Mass, I recall climbing into the car and starting to cry. My mother asked me why I was crying and I can remember responding “I just think it is so sad that he had to die for me. Why did he have to die? I love Him.” My mother did the best she could to try and explain this to a ten year old.

I also remember having a fascination with my guardian angel at a young age. I had read a book that my mom gave me about people who had encounters and interactions with their guardian angels and I began to desire to learn my guardian angel’s name. Many in the book had seen their guardian angels at night. This frightened me a bit. I decided that I wouldn’t want my guardian angel to appear to me, but I still would like to know their name.
One night during this time, I had a very vivid dream that my guardian angel came to visit and play with me.  My angel revealed to me that their name was Mackenzie, which I recently learned means, “son of a wise ruler,” or “born of fire.” I’m not sure if this is really my guardian angel’s name, or just the mind of a young child, but I am convinced either way that this was my guardian angel’s way of acknowledging my curiosity and love for them.

As a child, I began to develop a growing love for our Blessed Mother which came from my grandmother, MaryEllen. Grandma MaryEllen would transport a beautiful, very large painting of Our Lady of Guadalupe so that members of her parish could “host” the painting for a week. My grandmother deepened my faith greatly as a child. We never went anywhere in the car with her before praying that our guardian angels would protect us as we traveled.

This devotion to Mary planted by my grandmother, grew later on in life, when my husband introduced me to St. Louis de Montfort’s “Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary.” It is a 33 day devotion which adds different prayers every week. My husband proposed to me at the end of our devotion and Mary has been a large part of our marriage.

I have always had a strong sense of peace when at Mass or even just in a Catholic Church. I considered a vocation to the religious life for a long time while in middle school and high school. While discerning about college and what I wanted to major in, I remember thinking that I was making a joke when asking “can’t I just study about being Catholic? I have a passion for that.” To my surprise, my dad shared that I could! I choose to pursue a degree in Theology. Being a teenager and knowing everything, I couldn’t fathom what could possibly be left for me to study about the Catholic faith. Now I know that I will never stop learning and could never comprehend the entirety of our faith.

After writing the brilliant Summa Theologica, St. Thomas Aquinas said: “All that I have written appears to me as much straw after the things that have been revealed to me." Studying Theology has brought me much closer to God. There are so many beautiful parts of our Catholic Tradition such as angels, Eucharistic miracles, and Marian apparitions which truly enlighten the Church with mystery and beauty. 

My faith like that of a child, helped to steer me in the right direction as I ventured thru my schooling. The base of a Catholic education along with my family’s example solidified the faith that I continue to learn, live and share with others. May we all rediscover our child-like faith during this year of New Evangelization and help to bring others to that simple joy in Christ.

Amanda Conklin, now a married woman, is pictured as a child with the grandparents who played a large part in the growth of her faith. “As a child, I began to develop at growing love for our Blessed Mother which came from my grandmother MaryEllen,” she writes.