November 12, 2025 I’m only cheating myself. Using a popular app on my iPhone, I track my diet – calories, protein, carbohydrates, fiber… I have goals I target for some of the key metrics tracked. Every day, I weigh, measure and record nearly everything I eat. Until I don’t. Almost every night, I eat one small snack – a small pack of nuts and dried fruit, a banana, a handful of grapes, or – once in a great while – a small cookie. Even if I logged these snacks, I’d usually be under my calorie goal or only the tiniest bit above it. But I still don’t log them. It’s irrational. Maybe it’s guilt; night snacking isn’t the best habit. Maybe it’s a desire to have my app numbers appear better than they really are. But failing to log the food is only cheating myself. I’m the only one who loses in this equation (or doesn’t lose when my goal is to eat at a calorie deficit and drop a few pounds). Talking to one of my health providers about my diet, I thought about those unrecorded night snacks. I didn’t mention them. Thinking about that conversation later, I realized I do something similar in my relationship with the Lord. I would love to be better at surrendering my life and all that happens in it to the Lord. Sometimes, I’ll surrender a situation to the Lord. I’ll stop worrying – or at least worry a lot less – about things outside of my control. I’ll surrender them to God. Until I don’t. Then, often when some problem arises, I take back that surrender, and I immediately return to being filled with anxiety and worry, and/or I try to exert control where I have none. I give up the peace of surrendering to Christ, and I opt to lean into stress and worry. It’s irrational. I’ve spent some time this week and plan to continue praying for the grace to be the version of me that God is calling me to be and the fortitude to do so honestly and fully. I’ve prayed to stay in his peace. Because otherwise, I’m only cheating myself. |
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